How does it feel knowing you have always been ridiculed or body shamed just for your appearance not conforming to the perception of the world on how you should look?!!

Growing up African and FAT, teasing others is a norm on this side and to my amusement it’s absurd how we have never had sucidal thoughts or even commit the Act like its commonly heard of in the western world when someone makes mockery of ones physical appearance.

So anyhoo as I was saying, growing up FAT I was frequently teased at both in my neighborhood and at school with names such as “fufu tumbu” (i.e. to say I am as fat as a millipede! “Fufu” representing how thick my skin/outer appearance is; whereas “tumbu” in my local dialect “krio” which is broken English/pidgin spoken by Sierra Leoneans represents the “Millipede”).

Imagine yourself being likened to such disgusting looking arthropod always found in moist habitat and tell me if it’s not enough a reason for one to think and feel less of themself! This name tag had a negative effect on how I perceived my beauty as not being attractive or worthy of “You are Beautiful” compliment from anyone for then I within myself felt they were untruthful and had some mockery hidden in it!

I had grown up with such low self-esteem and traumatised mindset which often made me feel like the odd and fearfully made one amongst my circle of slim beautiful looking friends whenever I found myself in their company. Battled with weightloss through exercises and some diets just so I can “feel great” about myself so as to fit into societies notion and definition of BeautiFul of which some worked by making me feel a little less heavy but dress size still being a UK 16!

I detested my appearance growing up and hide it in loose fitted outfits and at a certain stage I fancied tomboy styling all because I wasn’t comfortable in my skin and I felt Unpretty just like TLC sang it.πŸ˜€

As I grew older lets say my Uni days, I started embracing my curves, trying new fashion mostly casual but chic feminine outfits, wearing makeup once in a blue moon and putting on alot of mini shorts! That was some progress rightπŸ˜€!

I then chose to acknowledge my own Validation of what being Beautiful meant to me and that was loving myself BETTER and accepting every inch of my curves and thickness and being Unapologetic about it regardless of the opinions of what others perceive beauty to being Slim, Fair complexion and Fit.

If it’s one thing I have learnt thus far in the past years, it is to walk away from anyone that tries to demean or body shame me for being Thick and Curvy or Fufu TumbuπŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚!!

Hallelujah they now embrace and appreciate our “melanated” skin as I was also always laughed at for being “too black” by the people I had close to me telling me “oh you need to get this and that body cream to tone/brighten your skin” but as aforementioned; Hallelujah I didn’t succumb to such pressure for then I would be in regret now as having a melanin skin is Greatly accepted and talked of today!

Don’t beg to be loved but Validate yourself by being Unapologetic/UnapologeThick !!




2 thoughts on “VALIDATION

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